from harry to mommy..

i tried to wrestle last night if i should write about harry potter because it might get lost with all the great reviews about harry. but the hell with it. fuck it as they say. i just have to write about harry.

so i was 13 years old when i had my first harry potter book. the first book that was actually mine and it was a novel to boot! unfortunately it was the second one (mom only got hold of the second as the first was always sold out because of the first movie which i missed) and i lived in ozamis back then. movies where always almost a month late. no good quality bookstore was ever around and one has to at least go to cagayan de oro to try their luck to no avail most of the time. cebu was a "to go to" place to be for one to be updated with these stuff.  no offense to the people back there but there's nothing much going on during those days (even maybe today unless you are the who's who of the city). so there i was wondering what the eff will i do with this book without even knowing the hype that harry was building in manila. i eventually learned about it when i had my vacation on that summer.

that summer was very significant as it molded my mind round what harry really was for me. the actor was almost the same age as he is and a lot of my generation can relate when i saw that we grew up with harry (even though his age frame was practically slower than us). there came a point when i memorized all the lines of all the characters in all of the scenes of the movie. i fell in love with the book and the movies that when i reached my mid high school days until my college days (still am... FUCK!) i would make it to a point that i would read all the books and watch all the movies of harry potter.. then opportunity struck when my aunt bought a hell lot of children encyclopedias and the bonus pack was 5 hard bound HP books! great! i devoured all of them.. so when the 6th book went out, i bought it out of my own money and when the last book came i was pre listed in NB to 2 or 3 months before it came to philippines. i saved all the money i have just to buy that book... and as i watch harry potter i just cant help to think that as the movie moved on nearer to the end i know that the time of saying goodbye to my harry potter would be near.. and a feeling of loneliness came to me..

here comes the relevant part..

harry was saved because his mother gave him all her love before dying for him.

say again: his mother's love saved him from death.

that is the most important part for me. i know J.K.R. was herself a mother and maybe was depicting her love for her children but i took it as my own mom giving the same thing to me.

harry lived and i still am living because my mom gave me all the love in the world. i admittedly may have overlooked it a lot of times but i never forgot how feel that love..

the other day i received the most devastating message one child can have...

mom i dont hate you. again i dont hate you.. i just hate what you did.. u just have to tell me before it happened and not after..

we lose people in our lives. they come, they go. we all live and die. i have came in terms with that lately because no one can control their lives 100%. i accept that someday ill die. i know someday people around me will die and will leave me either physically or emotionally but as i said "someday".

i know that what you did was for the greater good and for the better because you are the wisest person i know, mom. but please consider this, i accept that someday you will be gone and i may not be able to talk to you anymore but not today.. not tomorrow and not anytime soon... i love you ma... please take care of yourself..

so while i was watching harry potter, all i can think of is my mom.. she gave me my first book. she introduced me to the first string of novels which i read. she introduced me to all the great things that i come to love and treasure in this world.. i may have come into terms that no HP movies will come out soon. i finished and read all the books almost 3 times each. i watched all the movies and watched Voldemort died, Harry will still be as important as the Star Wars was important to you mom..

indepence day... shitty views on the day we get our self freed!

man! this is the time of the year that for the most of my life i am fuckin excited but why o why am i not excited even for a tad?

hello! maybe because its just me being 22 years old and ive been going to school since i was 4 years old so ive been going to school for 18 fuckin years! ok... so its just me being me... dont mind this part coz this is me saying that i am eager to graduate which is due soon and i know it! dont fuckin contradict that coz im gonna eat ur ass up motherfucker!

anyway, today is our independence day and man do i feel still like our country is still enclosed in a shitty cage! get me? i know you do... for those who are a little slow (i just dont wanna say you are stupid but you are, ok i said that you are stupid coz you really are), i believe that even though they say we are not, we are still under the influence of the countries around us...



1. we cant get no hold of the spratley's and say that its ours fully...

2. the US government still has a huge say on what our country can fully do locally and internationally (example: no president, whether good or bad, can be successful as a president without the support of the US government and it goes the same way with other countries)

for those 2 examples i definitely believe ( i hope that this doesnt happen ) our country will not flourish during my lifetime...

 i just want to say all this things because i am the type of person that loves his country.. it may be a cliche' or a cheesy statement to say but its the reality... i dont want to go out of the country just to make good bucks.. i dont want to go out of the country just to make a good life for the family that i am going to have.. i dont want to go out of the country to work as a whole... i want to go out just for the sake of seeing the world... this means that i dont want to enslave myself to the mediocre world... literally...

i believe that we should be able to flourish in our own country and make a living in our own land...

so what im saying is please Mr. President... please Mr. Aquino... please President Aquino make me wrong...  i dont want to leave this beautiful country to get my self enslaved by globalization ( by my own words: globalization means that the world is taken over by those powerful that doesnt want to share the powers that they have..)

for those readers that might read this, i just hope i sparked or tickled the side of you that loves this country..

peace and happy independence day PHILIPPINES! :D

for the nth time..

ok, so that's my status in both my twitter and facebook account...

"FOR THE NTH TIME IN MY LIFE I AM AGAIN ENROLLED"

now you ask me why? i would just answer you that "life happened, that's why"

ask me if i ever regret all those years wasted? ill just answer you "have you ever heard me say that those were wasted years? no"

see here is my point of view (and mind you a lot dont see this way)

1. ive become who i am and what i am because of all those years (people and experiences)

2. if you read my first blog i said that you just have to cope with what life throws at you and i think i pretty much handled it my way, it may look ugly if you look at it your way but i am thankful of every fuck up and every mess ive made because it made me stronger and better..

3. you'll ask me again if i would change anything if i had the chance, id answer you "FUCK NO"..

a lot of people will never get to see what ive seen, done what ive done and went where i went in a matter of 22 years..

so here's one piece of advice folks, always look forward with your head held up high but never forget at times to glance at your back and remember that you are what you are because of what's behind you..

ive stopped the picture thing the moment i saw a video in youtube about a man taking a pictures of himself every day of each year... but its still a great idea though... :D

i told you im a rain person..

so yesterday started off quite normally (and when i say its normal then it means that it is so freakin hot even at early mornings!).. as i finished breakfast i started to realize that i didnt go to the gym for the past couple of days and so i walked over there and got my ass a nice workout... so that was around 1100 in the morning that i arrived home... and then all the little drops fell, followed by larger drops and even larger drops and my cousin saw that my smile was from ear to ear... i really love the rain (not because of the emo statement that it hides the tears and not because of the warrior cliche' that it washes the blood away).. i just simply love it because it makes me remember about those times that i took a bath under it while playing during my childhood...

during those days, my parents or guardians will never allow me to bathe under the rain but i still find a way to run outside (and get spanked after that) just to have fun!

so yesterday i did what i did during the days when my booger still hangs on my nose...

1. i made my slipper flow through the water down the streets.
2. walked all over the village while getting drenched.
3. ran around without any shirt so that we can feel the cold down my very spine. ( i used to drive my bike all over town when it rains in dumaguete just because it is cold)
4. jumped beside friends who doesnt want to get drenched (so that all the resulting splashes would get them wet.. haha!)
5. had fun!

it is kinda weird that i did that alone though.. LOL!

but you cant help but smile and feel joy warm up your entire body while the cold water falls on it..

a snapshot from yesterday..

vague

ok... here is the picture that i promised yesterday... i made it black and white so that all the color mess up brought by the room wouldnt mess the facial expressions... still, you can see keita with the winnie the pooh pillow while mico screws up my hair...

so last night iwas reading a piece of craziness that another cousin (she's really my aunt but im much older so i would say she's my cousin) of my mine. its this piece that has all the corny stuff placed on text messages and on GM(s) and you know what? with all the cheesy, fluffy, crazy, horny and green stuff it actually is funny... so if you want something that feels good, of you just want a good laugh for being corny, just grab a copy somewhere and who know you might just have fun sending it to anyone you hate just because you want to fill up their inbox with all the stupid nonsense that these types of magazines have... LOL!

anyone of you guys seen "the king's speech"? its this movie with geoffrey rush, colin firth and helena bonham carter... a movie about a prince who cant talk his ass off in front of his "constituents"...

i havent seen it guys so please tell me your reviews ( i know the plot but im torn if i am going to watch it or not, it has 4 academy awards on its belt though, might be good...).. and persuade me or not to watch it, your vote your decision.. :D

speaking about movies, i really like those who makes you laugh because of the stupidity and craziness of the characters.. yeah! if you like those kind of movies then you would know pineapple express (seth rogen and james franco), knocked up ( Seth Rogen,Katherine Heigl, Paul Rudd, and Leslie Mann), all the harold and kumars (john cho and kal penn), american pie saga (too many great characters to name but the greatest creation is Jim's dad with a recognition to all the stifler's) and van wilder series.. right? feels like giving you a nice belly rub while spoon feeding you with chocolate! yeah, so see those movies and have fun!


today's picture will be featured in tomorrow's crap! LOL!

dang!

ok, so i said that i am going to post at least one picture of me in a day... but i can't really effiin find that damn usb cord for the card reader so can't put the picture in todays version but i promise that i will put it tomorrow... the picture features me and my 2 cousins while one is messin up my hair and the other puts his face in the hole of a winnie the pooh pillow...

so let me rant about what sucks and what is good in being a student finding out that summer is almost over and you need to go back to the hustle and bustle of the city to study (even though i love livin in the city)...

sucks:
1. traffic... shit dead heavy traffic... i know the railway system is good enough to cover the traffic's screw up but man, all those horns honking loudly because they cant wait to get a move on! why is it that people just cant get their hands off their horns! man! i just think that it couldve been better if they widened the original plans for TAFT AVE but who couldve foreseen the that the amount of vehicles would burst into freakin number that theyd clog up the streets!

2. railway system lack of trains : i know i said in number 1 that the railway system is pretty good but man, their lack of train takes a toll on people... a lot are just cramming and packing themselves in already tight trams! airconditioned (yes) yet the smell that you have to endure and after you get off the train, at 8 in the morning , you already smell like shit...

3. the rain: i am the type of person who loves the rain but when you wont really try to combine metro manila and raining because it is one fucked up situation that you will get... a lot of us have tried it... but man, why cant it rain and not flood...

4. not enough elevators: imagine running up to the 7th floor of the building because the line for the elevator is pretty damn long... whew!

5. kotong cops! : i know i made a hiss of what manila's traffic situation is but what sucks the most are the kotong cops... alongside UN AVE. corner TAFT AVE., there is that one cop that usually gets 50php per vehicle... he would really find something or some violation for the driver to squeeze some dough! and mind you he accepts 20php from some of the jeepney drivers!

food for thought:

why is it, in the philippines, that when there is no traffic enforcer in the middle trying to mess everything the traffic seems suave and smooth while when there is a traffic enforcer around it seems like all hell is loose! ayt?! LOL!

good..

1. manila is the place to be if you want to be someone.. every student gets a bit of the real life in the city and if you want to be someone someday you need to get all the harshness and the goodness in life and what better place to get that but from the grinding and pounding that one person gets in the city... tough!

2. people: by saying :people" i meant that people are trying to do their own thing and not mind other people's business... (or is it because i dont really talk to people when im reading or working on something at school)? hmmmmmmmm...  let me think... i have this trait that when i want to shut you out of my life then you wouldnt be able to penetrate that barrier unless i tear it down... so if i decided that i need some "alone time" then i would definitely get it and you could try as hard as you can but you just wont be able to bother me...

3. forgive me if this sounds stupid but i really love looking at the skies of manila when they are blue and all and while im up there at the higher levels of the school buildings.. its just i find serenity looking at the emptiness and the fullness of the sky thinking about life.. (that's irony for you)

4. time: funny how you cant seem to fit all the time of the day that you have to accomplish all the things to be done during the day... in the provinces, i find it hard to burn all the hours but here? man, i really love it when time flies so fast and i just feel tired and drained all day... that is because that is the only tie when i really get a good night sleep...

5. movies: it takes 2 full weeks in the province for the movies to get there! man! you really cant talk about it and people are shouting their opinions on the net while you are burning it movie hell!

so that's it... :D a lot of things that makes the metro more enticing for me...

by the way,... today's picture will come out tomorrow... peace im out!

memories

you ever think that we should take pictures everyday? i do! just right now!

im a person who wants to do the clicking instead of posing, but i dont really like photography... its just a way of getting out of the picture but hell i regret that part of me! i see a lot of people having great pictures and i envy them because they take a lot of pictures of them and all those memories are relived almost everytime a person opens your facebook or multiply page or deviantart... just then i realized i suck!

sorry for the self pity but let me talk about this...

i have an idea... from now on ill take a picture of me everyday... even at the most subtle time of the day just for me to remember what the eff did i do for that day... sounds good?


i think people should do it... like for now, as i am writing i am listening to johnoy danao (www.twitter.com/johnoydanao) rippin lisa loeb's STAY... and everytime i read this piece i would remember the song and the snapshot i took of myself and id say to myself that i did something productive today... at least for someone who has nothing to do for the whole day (except of course cleaning my own self!) LOL!

anyhow, i know a lot of people are into photography and all those shit that comes with it but why dont they just take a picture of themselves at least once a day...

so here's my today picture... :D

the blogger type is what im gonna start this string with... sorry for the nudity its just i dont have a shirt on and i decided to take a picture... its not great... i know... but its me! and that's my face for today the 15th of may!

has anyone tried waking up and realizing that he has nothing to do the whole day but burn all those 24 hours away doing nothing? i have....

so there i was at 7 in the morning... eyes wide open and thoughts wandering to the ethereal skies thinking what the efff should i do to make my day a "PRODUCTIVE" one... of course all my days are the same considering that it is the summertime and im dead broke... all i do is wake up at 8 and go to the gym... so around 11 or 12 noon i would have nothing to do for the remaining hours... and then i started to think about things... how was my year? how am i doing right now? what have forgotten to think about the past days and then i remembered!

i was on a bus... the usual 2 hour ride to manila from cavite with all the hassles of heavy traffic.. (thanks to maynilad working during daytime at the middle of the fuckin highway)... i was thinking about what i should write about so that people would realize that it is healthy to think instead of spending the 2 hours in a bus trying to spot  if the next girl who would ride the bus is hot or not... i thought about the cliche that says "all the best things in life are free"... then i pondered for a moment, "what in the world right now is free?" i guess if you are the negative type of person then the answer would be none but after processing a lot of information i got 2 things that are very much used and abused that the beauty of the 2 things won't be noticed nowadays... hint... those 2 things have the word "free" on it...

1. FREEDOM

2. FREE WILL

FREEdom... FREE will...

come to think about the beauty and the irony of it... if FREEDOM is FREE then why are there so much slavery in the world right now? why are many people enslaved by their own government? why does FREEDOM come in such high a price for us to fully grasp it? FREEDOM... whew!

FREE will... now this is a very tricky subject... some people that He gave it to us... some say that it is synonymous with the 1st word... some would even say that it is innate in us and that we should never be denied of this one truth... but what is free will really? is it as simple as we making our own decisions and doing what we do? because if it is that, then this world will be in chaos... i for one is bedazzled by this word... due to what have been taught by the society in which i am in, free will is a responsibility... if it is... then its the biggest and toughest responsibility that one can have... 

now... can you see why it is so much used and abused? think about it please... after all... i was just on the bus thinking about this... XD

shit happens... sometimes...

at the start of the page, the first blank line asks for the title of what you are writing.. the problem is, while im writing this "thing", i really don't know the main core of what i am going to write so let me start with this, shit happens.. 

shit really happens.. whether you ask for it or not, it just pops out of nowhere... either it messes up one fucked up situation or it just fucks up one good thing for you... either way, you get yourself fucked up in a way or two...

so last night, i was watching this one great movie entitled FORREST GUMP.. that one movie where TOM HANKS get to play this retarded role yet in his retarded ways life turns out really simple for him.. then, if you think about it, it kinda makes sense... in a scene, he was in a military camp training and while all that was happening he narrated one tiny sentence which (in a sense) summarizes the whole movie for me.. he said (mind you this line is not exactly written word for word as what he really said but the meaning is still the same) "in a way, i kinda fit well in the army.. its not really that hard.. all you have to do is make sure you clean your bed up, stand straight, stand still and answer every question with YES DRILL SGT!" funny though, i thought that being in the army was tough, but for him it was so easy...

so on that note, let me get to my point which i got from that movie. LIFE IS EASY... if you just think about it, its not really hard... dont over-think... dont overdo... dont overuse...." dont complicate things"... after all, if you do everything that you think is within your capabilities to make your life good, then there is nothing that you can regret ever doing or not doing... you will be your best self and no one can ask more of you... then life will eventually correct itself.. 

so have faith in yourself... even if you are retarded... even if shit happens... even if people say that you will never ever make it... 

after all, when everything is all said and done you only got one person to please and that is yourself... no one else...

drugs...

3 Filipinos got executed in China for 4 effin keys of drugs today. 4 keys! and they are worth the 3 lives of our countrymen. say they actually brought the 4 keys. say that they are actually smugglin all those drugs. are those four kilos enough to kill 3 people?! i think not and i know a lot of other Filipinos agree with me.

let's take my argument into a whole new level..

1.) the Chinese government are still "fighting for what they own" DAW! the Spratleys which is clearly inside the Philippines area of responsibility. (we know the reasons! it's for the oil and the natural resources as the islands are abundant with it.)

2.) what about all the illegal Chinese fishermen that wnader off our coasts. they are illegally crossing the borders. now i know that its just fish but our own fisherman have competition from another country (which by the way boasts larger fishing vessels and better equipments which means more fish) instead of basking over the abundance of our seas.

3.) and let me not start talking about all the drug mules (which by the way, a lot of chinese nationals are here in the philippines) being protected by a lot of crooked cops (thanks a lot to those "TIWALING PULIS", even the majority of their countrymen done even trust them). 4 kilos? man you should sweep all the places which are full of drugs here in the philippines and those 4 kilos wont mean a thing!

4.) when the hostage taking happened, the Philippines bowed her head down, knelt and asked for forgiveness for the terrible accident. now, our people are forcefully executed with all the hype of the media and the internet. now i know that the Chinese government is JUST DOING THEIR JOB but i think this is a blatant assault to the Filipinos. those 3 who are executed are plain OFW's venturing outside their comfort zones to find a more comfortable lives for their loved ones. let me ask you this then, "how could someone fuck up an opportunity like that when the lives of their families hang in the balance?"

clearly as ice, i stood beside the majority of the Filipinos around the globe who are mourning today. we know deep in our hearts that those Filipinos are innocent. they are.

Filipinos. we are a proud country. we should not take this act of power-tripping passively. we should not let others push us around. we are a great country which inspired the whole world on how to express ourselves without violence. we should all take a stand, not just for the three who perished but for all the Filipinos who are looked-down, pushed around and discriminated just because other nations think that they are superior than us. we all damn know they are not.

reading

starting from age God knows what age i was.. i saw my mom owning a lot of books and i wonder how the hell can someone read all of those pages.. i can still remember them being stacked up the case on tito jun's previous room... a complete collection of robert ludlum's bourne series! all those freakin books where all amazing but for a 12 year old with a lot of basketball on his mind, well, reading was just a complete waste of time.. or so i thought..

i woke up one morning thinking, how can i make this summer productive.. i pondered and saw a copy of my angels and demons lying around (mind you i read it with dan brown's da vinci code) and the effin idea struck me.. why not let my cousins read a couple of pages in a day.. that was just an idea then.. 

but disaster struck... keita was trippin the whole day! he wasnt listenin to nobody and then an invisible string inside me broke, as punishment for him, he should read an article in good housekeeping (the only magazine i can find) and i will ask him whatever he learned.. he read something about going into the principal's office as being a bad thing or bot being a bad thing.. i really can't remember.. he read it, with tears in his eyes and gave me a couple of answers and it was great! from then on he should read a couple of pages everyday before playing psp, watch tv or play the pc...

so there we were, him reading and i was listening and i can still remember him having difficulty with the word "opaque".. he read it as OPAK-U.. i was laughing my ass off and i cant believe it.. so from that time on, i would listen and correct him for every f***** up word that he spits out of his mouth...

while doing all of this, i realized the importance of reading... and i thank my mom for that... then it hit me, i miss her.. mama, i love you! thanks for everything! :D

really, you just have to know this.

so there i was... looking at the menu of mcdonald's for the millionth time in my life... i had already eaten but isha havent yet that's why i was with her and i am supposed to chow down something.. so i settled to have a sundae because i really love the hot fudge mixed with the cold ice cream but basically its the fudge that pulled me... and then i thought, why can i buy the sundae without the fudge but i cant buy the fudge without the sundae... hmmmmmmm... again, there's a thought that relates the reality and harshness of life.

folks, this is again a really obvious truth about life that people should know (some take time to notice this...)

life throw rocks at you. either you dodge it or not. either you fight it or not. but really, whatever choice you pick, you still end up working with what you have. this brings the sundae topic in context. mcdonalds wont give you no fudge unless you buy the sundae. so better suck it up, take the sundae and enjoy the fudge..

life's like that, suck it up. stand up and fight with what you have and just enjoy the ride which is life coz in the end, either with the sundae or without it, the fudge is what you are cravin for after all.

enjoy and devour the fudge ya'll!

peace!

random

this is my first time to be writing a blog. i guess this is because its summer time, i dont have a lot of money to go to vacations and im really bored with what ive been doing today. but let me first start with yesterday. funny how college can transcend into life.

so there i was in my classroom reviewing all my notes to have an exam for histotechniques (that's a subject where you can learn how to basically put a piece of human tissue into a slide for the doctor to see ) when i realized that ive been reading about those notes for a semester and i shouldn't be repeating it. i just thought that every exam is supposed to check whether you learn something from what your professor taught you. right. and then i thought, is it cheating that you read all your notes again? well, one can argue that its reviewing. but please let me refute that notion by saying that "what about those people memorizing things for them to have answers for the exams and then find themselves forgetting what they REVIEWED a week later?" arent they the ones "cheating" or just let me say the ones that defeat the purpose of having the exams? just a thought though, you can have your say on it and rant about it if you agree, disagree or maybe in between for that topic. let's leave it at that.

secondly, people say that being contented is being happy. does that mean that once you are not contented then you are not happy? hmmmmm. let me ask you then, how about those people that say "yeah we are happy BUT it could be better if we have this or that". where do you put them? in what area do you put them? happy or unhappy. let me know what you think.

i know my thoughts are screwed up but these are just thoughts of one speck of dust in a vast space. maybe it can urge you to think or maybe you can ignore it.